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Harry and Ron : Because Best Mates do it better.
Theodocia - NC-17 - for wave two 
29th-Jul-2006 10:52 am [2006, nc-17, round 2, shocolate]
tell shocolate
Title: Theodocia
Author: shocolate
Pairing: Harry/Ron
Words: 4750
Rating: NC-17

Written for wave two of the Third hprwfqf.

12. Outside of Hogwarts, the trio finds themselves entangled with deep magic, none of that classroom stuff. One of the rituals they have to do in their Horcrux hunting involves, of course, the taking of a virgin. To possibly everyone's surprise, Ron's the only virgin around.

OK, obviously this called for smut, not historical research.


ETA : 1500 words, and it is still historical backstory….

ETA2 : 2000 words and they are still talking….

ETA3 : 2500 words and they were that close…. and they started talking again….

ETA4 : 3000 words and they are finally going to do it!!!

ETA5 : 4000 words….. we have penetration….

Betaed by my lovely magicofisis, who thought the plot was fine, so you are stuck with it.

29th-Jul-2006 12:35 pm (UTC)
Harry cleared his throat and they both jumped. "So, Ron," he said. "You're…"

"Deflowerable," Ron muttered.

I think this gets the best line in a Harry/Ron for the week prize.
29th-Jul-2006 01:54 pm (UTC)
Can't you imagine his face!!!
29th-Jul-2006 01:10 pm (UTC)
Awesome. Just awesome.
29th-Jul-2006 01:54 pm (UTC)
29th-Jul-2006 01:34 pm (UTC)

Ditto to the deflowerable comment! Another favourite of mine was:

"Something you've been meaning to tell me, Harry?"
"No," he snorted. "Something I've been meaning to take to the grave."

I'm in awe of the way your imaginative (and pervy ;-) brain comes up with these scenarios!!
29th-Jul-2006 01:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, you should have seen me researching!

Two volumes of The Complete Peerage open on the table - using Google Earth to check where the church is in Broxbourne!!

Many thanks, sheepy one.
29th-Jul-2006 01:36 pm (UTC)
Yay for awkward but hot sex. And I liked the plot as well. :D
29th-Jul-2006 01:58 pm (UTC)
Yup - this no time for sexGod!Harry!

29th-Jul-2006 01:49 pm (UTC)
**"Not sexy, anymore," came Ron's echoing voice. **

that was a nice chuckle immediately after the incredibly sweet hotness!

poor hermione finding out she acted on bad information from lav-lav!

**"Look," he said. "We just have to do this, get it over with. Then we can go home and I will suck your soul out through your cock."**

now that's what i call *motivation* :)


ps. anyone tell me how do you do italics on a comment?
29th-Jul-2006 02:33 pm (UTC)
Yup - bare arse in the air - bless him!!

Poor Hermione, indeed - I am too cruel.

Ron should deliver presentations about motivation...

You to <*I>round the text<*/I> - without the *
29th-Jul-2006 03:23 pm (UTC)
I love this - but you knew that. I especially love the snarky banter - Ron holding back his laughter at Hermione saying "cock" and this favorite:

Harry sniggered. "It's important war work you're doing, Ron," he said.

"Shut it," Ron complained "Or I won't let you fuck me."

And teh hott!!
29th-Jul-2006 04:37 pm (UTC)
Can't you imagine his face!!!

Thank you, as always, my angel.
29th-Jul-2006 04:20 pm (UTC)
This was perfection. The story was awesome and I love how you lead up to the actual sex with the plot. Very very feasible! As always the characterizations were wonderful.

I also love the way you keep the friendship between the trio very intact.

this though was even better than the smut:
"Excuse me?" Hermione said.

"Not awful," Harry muttered.


"So not awful," he said, looking glumly at her.

"Something you've been meaning to tell me, Harry?"

"No," he snorted. "Something I've been meaning to take to the grave."

Hermione looked at Theodocia's tomb and giggled.

Because I giggled outloud and my family stared at me. Wonderful job!
29th-Jul-2006 04:38 pm (UTC)
I have no idea where the plot came from - I was Goog Earthing the village, to see where the church was!!

So many thanks.
29th-Jul-2006 04:25 pm (UTC)
It's not often Ron get's left as the odd virgin out. *giggles*

"Ron Weasley, the Boy Who Took It Up The Arse To Defeat Voldemort. Fucking fantastic."
He worries so much!

"Laces," Harry complained, getting hopelessly tangled up until Ron knelt at his feet and unlaced for him.
How does he remain so calm?

Ron outblushed him. "You, um, you." He turned away. "You fuck me with your fingers," he said, the back of his neck crimson above the bright orange t-shirt.

"Oh," Harry babbled. "Right, OK, if you like."

Ok, not so calm anymore. And adorable!!

Ron tensed and Harry petted his arse, gently. "Oh, fuck," he murmured. "I'm sorry, Ron, I don't want to hurt you."

Ron was breathing loudly, through his teeth. "S'OK," he hissed. "Just full; tight."

"Relax for me," Harry murmured. "Let me further in, and I'll reach the place my fingers did."

Ron moaned. "D'you think you can?" he whispered.

"Yeah," Harry said, stroking Ron's back. "Let me, Ron, please.",

I could read this over and over, I have already as a matter of fact. I love this Harry, love him!

Very clever with the history and the Lucius and all that. *pets shocolate's pretty brain*

Hey, are you poking at me with that icon comment? I almost always have permission to make smutty icons from her art - snerk...

29th-Jul-2006 04:26 pm (UTC)
You'll have to ignore my italics gone wild there, they took over.
29th-Jul-2006 04:44 pm (UTC)
"I will be over by the door, on lookout duty," she said. "You will be having sex on the tomb."


This was quite enjoyable, especially the hot, awkward sex!
29th-Jul-2006 05:54 pm (UTC)
I wonder if she peeked!
29th-Jul-2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
I actually really like Ron's idea to write a book about all of the everyday things that Muggleborns need to know. I want to own a copy!
29th-Jul-2006 05:54 pm (UTC)
Me too!
29th-Jul-2006 05:35 pm (UTC)
Ron untying Harry's tangled laces is the sweetest, most wonderfully intimate thing. I love the way you put such utterly fantastic little glimpses in like this. The whole story was wonderful. Funny, awkward, brilliant, loving & just perfect. Bravo!
29th-Jul-2006 05:58 pm (UTC)
*blushes Weasley!red*
29th-Jul-2006 05:49 pm (UTC)
Omg, first off that was way hot and awkward!

And also? TERRY! OMG!

I love how you squeeze him into everything!

And he loves you, too! Though he is, of course, saving himself for Ron.
29th-Jul-2006 05:54 pm (UTC)
LOL - I love making you bounce like that.

There are only two Ron/Terry shippers in the world, so I guess you don't often get a whole story - it's the least I can do!
29th-Jul-2006 06:08 pm (UTC)
People don't even realize that Ron *is* smart, maybe not Hermione booksmart, but he has the common sense knowledge of all the important things they need to know. I love that in the boy!
30th-Jul-2006 11:29 am (UTC)
Absolutely - he teaches Harry all the important stuff about living as a wizard!
29th-Jul-2006 06:38 pm (UTC)
Ron Weasley, the Boy Who Took It Up The Arse To Defeat Voldemort.
*snickers* well I'm sure JKR would appreciate that!

no but seriously that was awesome. I could just so picture Ron being all 'haha you stoopid muggle-borns you' :) Brilliant! And verrrry verrry hott!
30th-Jul-2006 11:30 am (UTC)
Yup, he kbows all the important stuff.
29th-Jul-2006 08:18 pm (UTC)
This has everything--the history/plot, the secret love, the humour and of course the sex--with Harry topping for once, no less!
I would quote my fav lines, but then my post would just be too damn long! :)
So I will just say, in teh words of Ronald Weasley, "Bloody Hell, that's completely Wicked!"
30th-Jul-2006 11:30 am (UTC)
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